Christmas is right on Target for the Comedy Dad

Jingle Bells, Jingle all the Way! Stop! It’s only December the 7th and the Comedy Dad tired of Christmas music already.
I’ve been kidnapped and held hostage to the sound of Burl Ives’ voice.
No, I’m not a Scrooge, because I actually really love Christmas and this time of year. I truly love Christmas caroling, but this is my first Christmas with two toddlers and any sane adult would hate the song “Frosty the Snowman” after they heard it for the 319th time in row.
Oh but my favorite of the holidays is parking at the area malls.
YEAH RIGHT!
When I say the Williamsburg Outlet was a zoo, I mean it was out of control. People were directing traffic as if we were leaving a Disney Production at the Scope. At one point I felt like a live game of Facebook; you had to tag yourself with a friend and follow them back to their car to ensure first dibs on a parking spot.
I did figure out the concept of Uber during this mad dash to buy the best, cheapest gifts possible. I started dropping my wife off at each store she needed and I would ride around until she texted me and let me know her new destination. I must say that system does work better than the old yellow cab but it wasn’t profitable at all for me.
Just when the Comedy Dad thought it was over rolling back down 64 east to catch college football on the tube, my wife said four of the worst words you can hear on the Peninsula during Christmas shopping season: “Get off on Jefferson.”
I went to every store in the Patrick Henry Mall all the way up to Oyster Point Rd. from Babies R’ Us, Party City, HHGreg with the grand finale being the kids’ favorite place in the world, Target.
I don’t know why they get so excited. Maybe it’s the popcorn, toy section or the dual seat basket (or if you’re from Virginia, we refer to it as a ‘Double Wide.’)
Long story short they cleaned up in the red place from clothes and Leap Pads to Sissy’s Cabbage Patch Dolls. We spent so much money on these little rats the I made my 2-year-old Tobias fill out an application so he could get his own money. We’re shopping for a red polo shirt and khakis next!

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