I think I just saw snot fly toward my couch. I rushed over immediately and searched the area for the mysterious flying object, but it disappeared! It almost felt like slow motion with my soundtrack playing in the background hollering, “Noooooooooo!” But it was too late. My son was my lead suspect in this investigation. It was only fitting because I’ve saw him fleeing the scene with a long dangling mucus cape blowing in the air partially stuck to his face. Now I’m wondering how many missing boogers are laying around my house.
Yeah that’s right, it’s cold and flu time in the Scott house. Everyone has been coughing, sneezing and snotting for three days now. Being a stay at home dad ain’t as easy as I thought it would be. I can’t call in sick or use a vacation day. So with that said I went to Walmart and got equipped for WAR!!!
Usually when I hit the Wally World, I’m pretty territorial. Whether I need food, electronics or the pharmacy, I usually don’t mix trips. But this time I needed the whole store to fight the cold season.
First, I had to locate the hand sanitizer and plenty of hand soap. Then off to the rubber gloves, Kleenex and face masks. Yeah, I said masks!! They’re my kids but I ain’t getting sick for nobody. Next, it’s to the pharmacy for Kids’ Tylenol in case anyone’s temperature spikes. “What,” you say? I like the grape flavor. Have you ever tasted the adult Tylenol? It’s awful to say the least.
Oh yeah, vitamin C. So I slide by and grab some orange juice with no pulp or my wife will pass out.
Okay now I’m ready for anything from diarrhea all the way to a case of “Icky Sticky Nasties,” as Doc McStuffins would diagnose it. But they just call it a common cold in the real world. And please take care of the babies and kiss them with snotty noses and all.
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